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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm.  [b]Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?[/b] [/quote]

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it. 
[/quote]

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.[/quote]

WOW!!! Majority of 18 yo are ready to spread their wings and go more than 500+ miles from home for college.  Some are not, and yes, they should choose a college location closer to home.  Both of my kids will be 2-3K miles from home.  Oldest is graduating this year and guess what, staying within 2 hours of where Dc attended college. While I wish DC was closer to home, I am THRILLED that DC has a meaningful job, friends and will thrive not being close to home.  Ultimately, that is the goal---I didn't raise my kids so they would stay at home or 1 mile away forever.  I want my kids to explore the world and do what makes them happy.

If you kid isn't ready for that, then [b]perhaps you haven't prepared them[/b]. My kids have had progressively more freedoms each year, letting them grow up and make choices (mostly good) and learn from any mistakes while at home, so they will be ready to be in college and on their own wherever life brings
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Please don't make judgments about other people's parenting, even on an anonymous forum.

Kids are different. Some are homebodies. One of my kids went out to CA. Another won't leave the state. They are both raised by the same parents, the same way, but they are fundamentally different kids. That's totally normal. [/quote]

Completely get that every kid is different. I have 2 very different kids.   If a kid doesn't want to leave the state/home town that is perfectly fine.  I'm also sure you didn't encourage your kid who did wanted to spread their wings further to just stay home close to family; I bet you supported that decision to fly a bit further away.  I bet you also are equally close to both kids, just in different way, because you can't physically see the one at a further distance.

However this poster stated that "going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families."  I think in this case, the parents is projecting their desire to keep their kid(s) on a short leash onto everyone and growing up with parents who desperately don't want to see their kids go anywhere other than 2-3 hours from home and in an environment that "young adults should spend time with their families" can lead to kids who don't want to explore the world, and who have anxiety/stress because they feel bound to do everything in life just to please their families.

I never want my kids to feel guilty for wanting to do something, be it college or a new job, that they like simply because it's not close to me.  While I've missed my kid 2K miles away at college, I know DC has thrived and grown so much, largely because DC is at the college they wanted to attend.  DC knows we will help them come home for any break 3 days or longer if they want.

IMO, The whole point in having kids is to raise them to be independent, creative, successful, happy individuals who are able to make their own good decisions in life.  Part of that means the kids (now adults) ultimately get to define/pick what is important to them.  And my job as a parent is to guide them, and help them become more independent along the way.  This doesn't just happen miraculously at 18, it happens all the way along while growing up, while giving them more independence and helping them learn how to make good choices along the way.  It means still guiding/assisting them while in college, but also means stepping back and letting the kid make choices that I might not always agree with, as long as they are not extremely detrimental/dangerous choices.

I didn't pick where my kids go to college, I don't pick their major, I don't pick their friends, I'm available to assist my kids in any way they ask, but if they don't ask and are doing well, I don't interject.  This is their journey through life.[/quote]

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