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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Same thing happened to my DD. I searched her room and found nearly a dozen devices and cartridges and homemade bowl with traces of weed in it. 
She had ISS for 3 days, and was grounded/no phone/no friends for two weeks. Her school assures us this won't go on her record since it's in-school suspension only.
She is otherwise a good kid. 4.1 GPA, class president (!), lots of extracurriculars, etc.
[b]Smart, good teens do stupid things[/b].
I continue to randomly search her room, and yes, I have found another device, which resulted in another grounding.

Her only excuse is 'everybody does it', which maybe they do, but she knows my expectations and my rules. Sadly, we can't control what they do when we're not around.[/quote]

My DD got caught shoplifting and said the same thing.  She sounds a lot like your DD, Honors student, student government, varsity player as a freshman, etc.  She had a job so it wasn't like she was doing it because she couldn't afford what she stole.  We, too, grounded her but didn't pull her from sports since there are a lot of health benefits to playing sports. This episode also brought to light that she was struggling with some anxiety/depression.  We'd seen some signs of it for the previous few months but, at that point, couldn't tell if it was typical teen emotionality or more.  We found a counselor for her to work with and she ended up on a low dose SSRI.  It really helped a lot.  I've got 2 DSs with ADHD/anxiety and, up to this point, really had no concerns about DD's mental health.

So, OP, while your DD's behavior is definitely worthy of consequences that you impose, it's not the end of the world if your DD can come through the other side with some lessons learned.  My DD is now in college, still on the low dose SSRI and doing really well.  Hugs and good luck.  I know it's hard. [/quote]

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