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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He said the mean things at the end, but it’s how he thought if you and your “thing” the entire time.  You were always disposable.  Therapy will probably help you figure out why you bought into a fantasy.[/quote]

An affair that lasted "multi-years" is far from a fantasy. Married people need to stop leaning on that to dismiss real people having a real connection and real feelings and real sex. Nothing fantasy about that. It's a relationship whether you like it or not. [/quote]

That depends on a lot.  Was this wham, bam thank you ma’am once or twice a month?  That’s hardly a “relationship” in any sense of the word.  Are they telling you anything of truth?  Do you know anything about their real life or childhood or friends?  Are they afraid to be seen with you?  Most likely you are getting a sanitized version.

There are many no-strings agreements from affair websites that are absolutely zero like a regular relationship.  Very little communication in between bangs to risk not being caught.

In OPs case the guy from the website told her it was no-strings. She said she wanted the same and didn’t want to leave a marriage.  She also says he only ever spoke very highly of his wife.

That was going nowhere good from day 1.  There were two male posters that described similar situations and the both said when the AP started pushing for more of their time, talking of feelings, wanting public outings, becoming demanding that they pulled the plug in a pretty volatile way from anger/frustration after trying to do the slow fade, distant more infrequent contact for awhile.  APs wouldn’t take the hint or accept that they didn’t have the same feelings.

If that’s you idea of a relationship, you need lots of therapy.  It’s all fantasy.[/quote]

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