Reply to How Involved Is Your Husband With Parenting?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband isn’t very involved in day-to-day parenting.

I make almost all of the decisions regarding the kids, which I’m very happy about because I see so many friends and their spouses arguing over parenting decisions. The downside is that the emotional stress of parenting falls on my shoulders — and I don’t have anyone to share it with. [/quote]

I think of my husband as very involved and feel smug. But I am starting to think that the collaboration isn't worth it, it takes more time than to do it myself.[/quote]

[b]In the beginning the collaboration takes more effort and time. But, the pay off comes in a few years when your DH becomes more confident of his parenting skills.  [/b]

My DH is a fantastic cook and for the entire pandemic he is the one who is grocery shopping and cooking all meals for us. He is WFH btw and I am a SAHM.  My friends keep telling me how very lucky I am, because he does the grocery, cooking as well as dishes.  Duh! Yes.  I am lucky, but I was also not yelling at him when he was burning the food and making a mess of the kitchen in the early years of our marriage.   The same goes for his parenting. I used to rush in to do things for my baby because I did not think he would know how to do things for the baby.  My BFF yelled at me for interfering and undermining his confidence. I still remember what she said - If something ever happens to you, you are not letting your DH learn how to even make the pigtails of your baby girl".  I loved that kick in the back that I deserved.  I do not criticize whatever my DH wants to help with.  I encourage him and I appreciate him. [/quote]

Well, our oldest of 5 is 15, so I don't think so. I also frankly think I am a model of not enabling, and more or less vice versa. Our marriage is by far one of the most equal and modern in this respect (although I'm in my late 40s). There's zero problem of confidence on either of our parts. But collaboration takes longer.[/quote]

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