Reply to can i say something snarky back

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "can i say something snarky back"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She's jealous. I've found that hitting back with snark is the best way to settle snipping.

She says 'I'm so glad we're able to spend time WFHing with hubby now that he has less hours'

You 'Yeah, too bad he sucks as a provider and you're stuck in a rental for the next 10 years. Other than that - congrats!'[/quote]

NP.

JFC, replies like the one above will only fuel her fire and make her double down on the comments. Sister WANTS an upset or heated reaction from OP so sister can turn and say, "See?! I got to her!"

Why on Earth give her that kind of attention? Snarking back at her is still a form of attention, and that is exactly what sister wants.

OP, of course she's jealous on one level, and on another, feels superior to you as well. The two things can coexist as a pretty toxic stew. She's taking the low road of making comments. Why not take the high road and not meet snark with snark?

Next time she says, for instance, "I'd never spend all those hours away from my kids working, just to afford better clothes" (or whatever), you stop whatever you are doing, turn to her, look her full in the face and say very calmly, "Why would you say that?" In a very neutral tone.

Then keep looking at her and WAIT to show you actually expect a reply. Do this every time. "Why would you say that?" and then silently, clearly waiting for her to reply. No snark. I'd wager she will splutter and hem and haw and say, "Uh, uh, I really meant...." etc. Or she'll just shut the hell up.

"Why would you say that?"
"What do you mean exactly?"
"I'm sorry you feel that way," (A statement, but still, look right at her and wait....)

Anything that is bland and comes across as a real question, like you just don't see her problem. Her problem of course is her need to bash you for your choices. So turn it onto her to have to explain her comments. Do not expect her actually to explain them, OP, and please, don't actually engage her in a discussion becuase it's useless; but the act of halting her in her tracks with a cool, eye-to-eye "Why would you say that?" can really shut people like her up. Unless she is super argumentative, she'll get flustered and go away, or change the topic. Be sure to do this every single time (tiresome as that is for you) and eventually she may stop. You will appear to be the sensible one, and unflappable. And it denies her your anger or upset--which she would love to see.

This approach is as immediately satisfying as snarking back at her, but it absolutely can work if applied repeatedly. I know from experience. And you can feel you are not lowering yourself to her level.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics