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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. You are misreading the post. I am not freaking out. DS is. I am just trying to figure out how to explain things to him in a way that is as accurate as possible. I don’t know if connections help the way the used to. I know this is the way of the world.

Yes it is mainly that his best friend spilled this after the process. They’d talked about how fun it would be to go to the same school, etc. all along and then my DA felt sort of blindsided. I explained he was under no obligation to say anything and he said he wished he didn’t know.

Keep in mind as others have said he is a teenager and their brains fire up in different ways.

My first response was to be proud for working hard and getting good grades and SAT score and focus only on himself. That he in the end will have greater confidence in himself.

But he is still upset and feels like he was “played.” [b]He said he wouldn’t have applied to so many of the same schools if he’d known.[/b] We talked about how he needs to focus on the future.

My question was about how much those connections really work these days and if I can honestly tell my kids, “things have changed and those connections don’t help as much as they did pre-Varsity Blues” vs “sorry, kiddo.” [/quote]

This is the part I do not understand. I am new to this entire process and even I understand simple probability.

OP, why would your child and his friend, both attending the same school, apply to so many of the same schools? Yes, I see that you explain that they thought it would be fun to go to college together but attending college is not like attending summer camp. Simple probability tells you that many colleges do not often take multiple kids from the same school, especially when that school is not one of the huge public kind. All this to say, if your son's friend's expensive college counselor did not advise the friend about this simple strategy that I thought most knew, then I'd not worry to much about the benefit of this wonder counselor.[/quote]

Yes, I was wondering the same thing. And, why is your son so upset that his friend hired a counselor?  You suggest that he felt blindsided as if the friend now has an advantage, but is that because, knowing they were applying to the same schools, your son possibly mistook his own advantage (better grades/SAT) for a level playing field? Is it possible he felt it was fair when he had a slight advantage? I am not trying to be cheeky. Teens have limited perspective!  But, that might be worth exploring. And, like other posters said, there are all sorts of reasons for selecting students. Just because the friend got a pricey counselor, it doesn't mean that this is the end for your kid. Hopefully, he has a good range of schools, worked really hard to demonstrate interest where needed and did his best with his app. I'm sure he'll have options! As for the friendship, he shouldn't feel duped. People access the advantages that resources give them. My kids took magnet admissions tests against other kids whose parents dolled out tons of money for test prep. No one would say anything, but they saw the prep books tucked in among school books. We couldn't afford that. My kids still got in. The paid prepping and enrichment in our sphere is frustrating at times but not a betrayal. Your kid has got some serious advantages w/ his top 3 education/status and his grades/scores. Remind him of all he's got going for him and that people will typically take the advantage when and where they can. Besides, his friend's parents probably organized it all.[/quote]

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