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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP that is sad - sorry for you. We have bio and adopted children and both grandparents accepted both - [b]although they probably know I would have cut them off if they did not. [/b]

I would set boundaries early on and have DH inform them:
1. You and DH both expect any adopted and biological children to be treated equally because they are equal under the law and in our eyes as parents;
2. Educate them that real parents are the ones who feed, clothes, shelter, protect and educate their children;
3. It will make you very sad if they cannot accept your adopted children and you will need to reduce contact in order to protect your children if they cannot accept them as your children.

We are blessed that my MIL adores our DC and is understanding about issues common to adoption (fear of abandonment, feelings of loss that need to be realistically managed, and sensitivity to not looking similar to other family members). It will be really important to do whatever you can to bond with  your adopted children and let them know that they are accepted and loved just as they are. If ILs cannot appreciate how important this is, you need to do what you need to do to protect your children.

If ILs are willing to try and connect with adopted children, Give them a chance though - they may come around .

Good luck OP
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dp I think this seems harsh.  You would automatically cut someone off instead of educating them? It seems like your love is conditional and doesn't take in any consideration for growth and change. [/quote]

I would have definitely tried to educate them before cutting them off. Fortunately, I did not need to as they were both very welcoming to our adopted child. But if they had treated our adopted child with less love, attention and acceptance than our biological child, I would not have exposed our dc to that.

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