Reply to Kind of Felt Uncomfortable Because of My Ethnicity On a Tour

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[quote=SAM2][quote=Anonymous]Again, I can't speak for the OP, but they asked where he was from and he answered with his hometown ....  [/quote]
I wasn't really talking about OP's situation with my posts, but rather was trying to explore the comment several PPs made about how offensive it is to ask about origins.  I don't really have much of an opinion about OP's situation, because I find it very hard to judge from afar how a conversation like that went.  Nuances are too easily lost when we hear only a brief summary.  I can think of about a dozen questions I'd want to ask OP, with lots of follow ups, before I could evaluate the situation.  What I find somewhat telling is that OP's own wife -- who did hear the full story in all its detail, and who presumably would be sensitive to OP's feelings -- said he was overreacting.  That suggests to me that whatever happened wasn't really so cut-and-dried. So was what happened to OP really offensive and inappropriate? ... or was he being overly sensitive? ... or maybe some combination of both?  I have no idea.

[quote]The point is it is rude to put labels on people that they aren't labeling themselves with at the time.  Yes, they may have been looking for common ground but in so doing they made someone feel like an "other" or  a novelty.  No one likes feeling that way.  That's not inclusive even if it is well intentioned. [/quote]
Fair enough on some of these points, but my point is that if we deter people from even seeking common ground, out of fear they might offend one another, then they're not going to make any progress.  That's just how people interact.  Sometimes we all step on one another's toes; it's part of learning to dance together.

We're probably not too far apart.  I doubt you, or other PPs, really want to prohibit people from talking to one another, despite some of the more extreme statements posted here.  And I'm certainly not suggesting it's OK to offend people or pry into their personal business.  There's probably some middle range that most people are comfortable with.[/quote]

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