Reply to Way to get past my resentment towards lazy DH, knowing he will not change?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, in general, you're living a life too close to the edge

Calm the family schedule down, down to a speed you could handle if it were just you.[/quote]

This. And drop the ball. Get food for only you and the kids, he can do whatever, at least a few times a week. Do the bare minimum for you and the kids to be dressed and ready and not have mice in the house. Only wash your clothes and the kids clothes, dh has to do his.

It sounds like you have higher standards OP, I would lower them and not do anything for him. [/quote]

Yep I dropped this ball.  I asked DH for help with laundry for literally 10 years before I realized that he would say 'sure' just to get me off his back, not because he ever intended to help.  My DH now does his own laundry, takes and picks up his own clothes from the dry cleaners, makes the food he eats if he doesn't want what I made for the family (he goes through phases where he tries to be vegan, paleo, etc. and it was exhausting to try to find something everyone else would eat that fit his current diet), takes care of the maintenance for the car he drives, does all of the kid stuff when I'm away for a work trip (I used to make a lasagna or something that he could heat up, no longer).  He wasn't happy about these changes, but he adapted.  I do everything essential for the kids and much of the non-essential stuff, so I'm still shouldering most of the burden, but my attitude is much improved.  [/quote]

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