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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Witnessing the illness of your spouse and becoming a young widow isn't lucky in love... It's terrible luck.
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Well yes.  Of course it is.  But finding not one, but two great husbands in a relatively short period of time Is lucky in love.  That doesn’t mean lucky in all aspects of life, as you point out, obviously.  [/quote]

OP here. I actually read her blog because I started off my career in the foreign policy and think tank circles. While I never met Shawn Brimley, I certainly know people who worked with him. I was surprised by her beautiful and raw writing and struck by her intelligence and emotional maturity. When you read her story, you realize she has not always been lucky, having lost her mother so young and in such terrible circumstances, and you cannot help but admire her resilience. She then goes off and meets this brilliant and all around wonderful guy who apparently is madly in love with her. They had a love in a brief time that most do not experience in this whole life. That is lucky!

After his unfortunate passing, she is left a widow at 40 with three little kids. That's a huge baggage. And within two years she is married again to another seemingly great guy who is madly in love with her.

She does seem tremendously lucky in love, regardless of the rest of her circumstances.[/quote]

I'm the PP who said it's terrible luck. I follow Marjorie's blog because I too am a 40-something widow. This could be my grief talking, but could you please stop calling her lucky in love?  It comes across as tone deaf. Even if you had an amazing first husband and another great relationship with someone after your husband's death, you aren't lucky...you are able to make good of a terrible situation. Some widows can't get out of bed for months or years.  Some pour out their eloquent vulnerabilities in a blog and inspire others to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other every day. All are doing the best they can to live through the pain of loss.

Despite feeling so grateful for the men in my life, I live so many days with the pain of my circumstances and the complications of moving on in my changing world. I worked and work hard on these relationships. Perhaps someone looking in from the outside would call it luck. Other than being in the right place at the right time in meeting someone, luck is not otherwise a factor. [/quote]

+10000. You put it perfectly, it seems tone-deaf. Sorry for your loss, PP. I know this post REALLY irks me, but i have not experienced the loss of a spouse like you have....I can only imagine. [/quote]

Yes, it is tone deaf in that respect and it is also tone deaf in the sense that it implies in order to have good relationships, there is some way you have to be in order to make that happen. In some respects, yes, there are qualities and skills that translate to healthy relationships. But there are also perfectly wonderful people who don’t find love and it’s not their fault. People also experience love differently - some are more realistic and down to earth and some get full blown starry eyed, Disney movie stuff. So there are a lot of things in this post and thread that are going to be triggering and very invalidating and tone deaf to people reading it.[/quote]

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