Reply to How do you deal with a spouse who doesn't stand up to his family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP this sounds much like our marriage during the early years. For whatever reason, DH just wasn’t included in some family things etc and he was ok with that (it bothered me!). I finally realized that I should be focusing on my own family and friends...why put  so much effort into ILs at this stage? 🤷‍♀️ I decided to be polite when we saw them and otherwise not worry about it.

17 years later, I’m glad. DH and his family are just no terribly close for a number of reasons, and this extends to me and the kids. We all love each other, they do love our kids, but DH just doesn’t mesh with his family the way some of his siblings do. Oh, well. It has never changed.

Focus on your own family and friends! Your relationship with ILs may improve, it may not. Be polite and accepting but don’t expect much. Use that energy on your own family of origin and friends.  [/quote]

x100000

Treat them the way the treat you, and focus on your own family.  You aren't going to change haters.  They may be severely depressed people, for all you know, OP.  You can't fix it, so enjoy your own people. [/quote]

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