Reply to My DH does not understand what it's like to be the primary parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every woman needs to understand that she is, 95% of the time, ALWAYS going to be the primary parent even if you have a nanny.[/quote]
Not true for me or any of my friends after the baby/toddler stage. My DH has areas of responsibility that he handles competently, and so do I.  We are respectful of each other’s need for some blocks of uninterrupted time for work and/or relaxing alone. I agree with others that dropping everything to help a kid who is 4+ with minor requests leads to neediness and annoying behavior. Also, kids that age can be trained to understand, and after a few repetitions comply, when they hear “This is mommy’s quiet time, now scram.” Closing yourself in a room helps reinforce those boundaries.

You do have to give them your full attention when you are not having your alone time so they feel loved and respected, of course, but it really is good for their development to sometimes be bored, not have their requests given immediate attention, and learn to figure out how to solve their own minor problems. If your DH rarely or never steps up to give the kids good attention, then that is a serious problem that hopefully can be helped with some frank conversations when you are not feeling murderous and resentful and perhaps marriage counseling. But is truly is a separate problem from the one where your kids are constantly running to you for help with every little thing. If you train the kids first, you will likely have more patience for tackling your issues with DH. [/quote]

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