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Reply to "Are There Any Red Flags Here?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly OP just reading this is huge red flags. She is 11. Most 11 years olds "work out" by being involved in sports, biking the neighborhood, going on hikes with their families, dog walks, etc. Your daughter is by herself watching youtube workout videos. That alone is a red flag. She is well on her way to disordered eating at a young age. [b]The whole baking something that is long, complicated and aesthetically pleasing can be a sign of an eating disorder[/b]. The cutting out types of food IS a sign. So while she may never get to full flown eating disorder she is on her way to a terrible relationship with food and most importantly her body. Nip this in the bud now![/quote] She is involved in a sport (diving), which is not exactly exercise intensive, and she had to start it, because her injury prevents her from doing what she has done for years (and I think that the kind of work she has to do for diving is helping with her injury). She used to do martial arts, but had to stop because of her injury. She has limitations on the type of exercise she can do because of her injury, and bad feet. So for instance, hiking/dog walks are difficult. She loves to bike and swim, both of which she does for fun, but those are weekend activities. She is not watching YouTube workout videos by herself, I help her choose appropriate workouts, because I want to be sure that it is someone that pays attention to form, so she does not hurt herself. I am curious about the bolded. We both enjoy baking, and as a general rule, we don't just make simple cakes or cookies (except banana bread; that's a staple, to keep bananas from going bad). For instance, for Christmas, we baked and decorated a yule log - sponge cake, whipped cream filling, ganache covering, chocolate bark for decorations, meringue mushrooms, sugared cranberries and rosemary, etc. So what she chooses to bake are things that often have multiple components, or interesting technique. She loves to decorate especially (artsy kid), and eats what we bake.[/quote] You said in your first post that if you pack her something that seems like junk (macron) she won't eat it. You also said she doesn't like the way sugar makes her feel so she avoids it. But does makes elaborate baked goods which you claim she does eat? Doesn't that seem off to you? It is the food ritual behavior at 11 which is sending up red flags. It is pretty common for women with disordered eating to plan/cook/bake elaborate items then not eat them. Does she have an eating disorder now? Not sure but she is heading that way at a very young age. [/quote] It's not that cut and dry, where she doesn't eat any sugar. For instance, she will eat her very favorite sugary snacks (like chocolate babka, and banana bread), but not eat certain other things she used to, such as Oreos (she will eat yogurt with Oreos), and macaron. She will eat one of her favorite Indian foods with sugar (like regular white sugar), bread or crepes with Nutella and banana (or strawberries and cream), but not say, Takis or Doritos. She will eat ice cream, just not in the same quantity or frequency that she used to. She loves cheesecake, and that's her special occasion treat. I don't *claim* anything, I can actually see her eat it. We eat together. There is no change in what she eats for breakfast/lunch/dinner, but there is a significant change in snacking. The baking elaborate items predates the health kick by years. As I said previously, she is an excellent baker, and that has likely come about because it's a shared activity we have been doing since she was little. The frequency of baking has gone down, with the start of the school year, and me being pre-diabetic, but watching GBBS always makes us want to try making new and elaborate things (a new season just started). I do want to say that I am taking the experiences of those that have had ED themselves, and those that have gone through it with their children, seriously. There is no history of ED in the family, so this is all new territory to me, and there is no one in the family that can provide perspective, so I appreciate what others are sharing. I am erring on the side of caution here, as that seems prudent. As a PP said, most therapists (if they're taking new patients at all) are booking months ahead, so there is plenty of time to observe and gather more data. [/quote]
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