Anonymous wrote:Have spent the past year with my 11 year old DD who developed full blown anorexia. We live in such a diet culture and skinny and judgey world around healthy food and looks that it’s hard to read some of the advice and perspectives who want to act like being this concerned about food and working out related to looks at this age is ok.

The goal is normalize your daughters eating so she’s not so obsessed with types of restrictions or not eating things she used to eat. (Anything is fine in moderation!) and getting her on a physically and mentally healthy path for life. things like baking and thinking and talking about food is a signal she wants it but won’t let herself have that. Anyway. I’d suggest reading How to Nourish Your Child through an Eating Disorder. It sounds scary but it’s usual as just a blueprint for normalizing eating - and you don’t have to label if your kid has a “real” ED or not. At age 11 have her focus on any physical activity that has a social element to it and do not do the workout videos. It’s not developmentally appropriate and reinforces a msg of exercise as dieting and not because it feels good and is healthy and fun at this age. Have her eat her “fear foods” as a sometimes food - ie avoiding and breaking restrictions is key to not going down the ED rabbit hole. Do it now. Most people who develop a full blown diagnosed ED have a genetic predisposition that collides with cultural and other factors. When the body goes into deprecation that can be a huge trigger - think about losing your rationality when you’re really hangry. I don’t think your daughter sounds like where mine got to - or what I’ve seen and read about and learned about in various treatment programs at this point as a full blown ED. But there are signals of disordered and unhealthy “healthy” rules and restrictions that if not checked can lead to a life of disordered eating and feeling bad about herself and having an unhealthy relationship with food.

Anonymous wrote:I'd keep an eye on it. The potential red flag to me would be if she's become significantly more "disciplined" with food/fitness than she has with other spheres of her life. The need for control often underlies eating disorders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP just reading this is huge red flags. She is 11. Most 11 years olds "work out" by being involved in sports, biking the neighborhood, going on hikes with their families, dog walks, etc. Your daughter is by herself watching youtube workout videos. That alone is a red flag. She is well on her way to disordered eating at a young age. The whole baking something that is long, complicated and aesthetically pleasing can be a sign of an eating disorder. The cutting out types of food IS a sign. So while she may never get to full flown eating disorder she is on her way to a terrible relationship with food and most importantly her body. Nip this in the bud now!

She is involved in a sport (diving), which is not exactly exercise intensive, and she had to start it, because her injury prevents her from doing what she has done for years (and I think that the kind of work she has to do for diving is helping with her injury). She used to do martial arts, but had to stop because of her injury. She has limitations on the type of exercise she can do because of her injury, and bad feet. So for instance, hiking/dog walks are difficult. She loves to bike and swim, both of which she does for fun, but those are weekend activities. She is not watching YouTube workout videos by herself, I help her choose appropriate workouts, because I want to be sure that it is someone that pays attention to form, so she does not hurt herself.

I am curious about the bolded. We both enjoy baking, and as a general rule, we don't just make simple cakes or cookies (except banana bread; that's a staple, to keep bananas from going bad). For instance, for Christmas, we baked and decorated a yule log - sponge cake, whipped cream filling, ganache covering, chocolate bark for decorations, meringue mushrooms, sugared cranberries and rosemary, etc. So what she chooses to bake are things that often have multiple components, or interesting technique. She loves to decorate especially (artsy kid), and eats what we bake.

You said in your first post that if you pack her something that seems like junk (macron) she won't eat it. You also said she doesn't like the way sugar makes her feel so she avoids it. But does makes elaborate baked goods which you claim she does eat? Doesn't that seem off to you? It is the food ritual behavior at 11 which is sending up red flags. It is pretty common for women with disordered eating to plan/cook/bake elaborate items then not eat them. Does she have an eating disorder now? Not sure but she is heading that way at a very young age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP just reading this is huge red flags. She is 11. Most 11 years olds "work out" by being involved in sports, biking the neighborhood, going on hikes with their families, dog walks, etc. Your daughter is by herself watching youtube workout videos. That alone is a red flag. She is well on her way to disordered eating at a young age. The whole baking something that is long, complicated and aesthetically pleasing can be a sign of an eating disorder. The cutting out types of food IS a sign. So while she may never get to full flown eating disorder she is on her way to a terrible relationship with food and most importantly her body. Nip this in the bud now!

She is involved in a sport (diving), which is not exactly exercise intensive, and she had to start it, because her injury prevents her from doing what she has done for years (and I think that the kind of work she has to do for diving is helping with her injury). She used to do martial arts, but had to stop because of her injury. She has limitations on the type of exercise she can do because of her injury, and bad feet. So for instance, hiking/dog walks are difficult. She loves to bike and swim, both of which she does for fun, but those are weekend activities. She is not watching YouTube workout videos by herself, I help her choose appropriate workouts, because I want to be sure that it is someone that pays attention to form, so she does not hurt herself.

I am curious about the bolded. We both enjoy baking, and as a general rule, we don't just make simple cakes or cookies (except banana bread; that's a staple, to keep bananas from going bad). For instance, for Christmas, we baked and decorated a yule log - sponge cake, whipped cream filling, ganache covering, chocolate bark for decorations, meringue mushrooms, sugared cranberries and rosemary, etc. So what she chooses to bake are things that often have multiple components, or interesting technique. She loves to decorate especially (artsy kid), and eats what we bake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP just reading this is huge red flags. She is 11. Most 11 years olds "work out" by being involved in sports, biking the neighborhood, going on hikes with their families, dog walks, etc. Your daughter is by herself watching youtube workout videos. That alone is a red flag. She is well on her way to disordered eating at a young age. The whole baking something that is long, complicated and aesthetically pleasing can be a sign of an eating disorder. The cutting out types of food IS a sign. So while she may never get to full flown eating disorder she is on her way to a terrible relationship with food and most importantly her body. Nip this in the bud now!

She is involved in a sport (diving), which is not exactly exercise intensive, and she had to start it, because her injury prevents her from doing what she has done for years (and I think that the kind of work she has to do for diving is helping with her injury). She used to do martial arts, but had to stop because of her injury. She has limitations on the type of exercise she can do because of her injury, and bad feet. So for instance, hiking/dog walks are difficult. She loves to bike and swim, both of which she does for fun, but those are weekend activities. She is not watching YouTube workout videos by herself, I help her choose appropriate workouts, because I want to be sure that it is someone that pays attention to form, so she does not hurt herself.

I am curious about the bolded. We both enjoy baking, and as a general rule, we don't just make simple cakes or cookies (except banana bread; that's a staple, to keep bananas from going bad). For instance, for Christmas, we baked and decorated a yule log - sponge cake, whipped cream filling, ganache covering, chocolate bark for decorations, meringue mushrooms, sugared cranberries and rosemary, etc. So what she chooses to bake are things that often have multiple components, or interesting technique. She loves to decorate especially (artsy kid), and eats what we bake.

None of that is alarming because she isn't afraid to eat it, and there are no signs she purges it. Sure, keep an eye on things, but my goodness people on here are overboard. Let's see we have a normal weight child interest in health who like most girls and many boys cares about her appearance too. She wants to avoid table sugar, but eats a well rounded healthy diet. She does enjoy baking elaborate things, but will eat what she makes in a reasonable portion-not binging, not restricting. She exercises daily, but *gasp* has not chosen a DCUM approved form of exercise, but if you take out video and add oh I don't know volleyball on a team, you may get DCUM approval. Sorry, but this thread has gone off the rails. In a world where our kids are likely to have a lower life expectancy than we have due to being sedentary and eating crap, DCUMers are ready to send a kid to early intervention for making healthy choices and actually confessing that she like most tween girls cares about looking good too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP just reading this is huge red flags. She is 11. Most 11 years olds "work out" by being involved in sports, biking the neighborhood, going on hikes with their families, dog walks, etc. Your daughter is by herself watching youtube workout videos. That alone is a red flag. She is well on her way to disordered eating at a young age. The whole baking something that is long, complicated and aesthetically pleasing can be a sign of an eating disorder. The cutting out types of food IS a sign. So while she may never get to full flown eating disorder she is on her way to a terrible relationship with food and most importantly her body. Nip this in the bud now!

She is involved in a sport (diving), which is not exactly exercise intensive, and she had to start it, because her injury prevents her from doing what she has done for years (and I think that the kind of work she has to do for diving is helping with her injury). She used to do martial arts, but had to stop because of her injury. She has limitations on the type of exercise she can do because of her injury, and bad feet. So for instance, hiking/dog walks are difficult. She loves to bike and swim, both of which she does for fun, but those are weekend activities. She is not watching YouTube workout videos by herself, I help her choose appropriate workouts, because I want to be sure that it is someone that pays attention to form, so she does not hurt herself.

I am curious about the bolded. We both enjoy baking, and as a general rule, we don't just make simple cakes or cookies (except banana bread; that's a staple, to keep bananas from going bad). For instance, for Christmas, we baked and decorated a yule log - sponge cake, whipped cream filling, ganache covering, chocolate bark for decorations, meringue mushrooms, sugared cranberries and rosemary, etc. So what she chooses to bake are things that often have multiple components, or interesting technique. She loves to decorate especially (artsy kid), and eats what we bake.