Reply to Making an ADHD kid apologize to the teacher and whole class after a meltdown

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Regarding rejection sensitivity and ADHD, I just want to note that an apology that is accepted by the class and teacher, where the child felt understood and forgiven for losing control, could actually be GOOD for RS. One hallmark of RS is the kind of “everyone hates me, I have no friends” catastrophizing, and discussing something like an outburst, seeing if the child wants apologize, and then having the other kids listen and accept can help short circuit that kind of catastrophizing by replacing it with facts. Instead of “everyone hates me”, it’s “some people were upset when I ripped up my paper the other day, but we talked about dealing with frustration and I apologized and Ms. Larla talked about how we all get frustrated and we all shared stuff we can do when we’re frustrated.”

Like there is a pro-social way to fo this that not only doesn’t Shane but builds bonds and helps contextualuze it for the child as a mistake we can all move on from. I think people are envisioning a very shaming, rigid, forced apology situation and I don’t personally know any teachers who would handle it that way. It doesn’t seem to be what OP’s daughter describes either.

Anyway, talking things through and showing an ADHD child that people can be upset about an isolated incident but forgive and offer understanding can be preferable to handling the whole thing privately away from the rest of the class. Peer judgment is critical at this age and transparency and communication can help combat gossip and exclusion, too.[/quote]

except there is no transparency unless the whole class is informed the child has ADHD and possibly autism. I’m just really astounded at the people who insist this is appropriate. [/quote]

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