Reply to “He didn’t do this the whole time you were gone”: is it me???

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Reply to "“He didn’t do this the whole time you were gone”: is it me???"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I don’t know how demand respect and instill consequences but not shatter our already precarious relationship.

We get tripped up because we don’t know how to parent without fear OR constant bribes and consequences.

He never listens, and he’s extremely argumentative, and he’s rude.

He’s nice elsewhere.

Why is he awful with me?

He’s even starting to say so: “I don’t like being with you because you’re always mean to me”.[/quote]

Your relationship is precarious because he doesn’t feel safe with no boundaries at home. Kids push boundaries (especially ones with special needs) and they need you to show them the way because they are out of control and feel scared by not being guided.

Discipline is teaching. You need to teach him the rules at home. Consequences aren’t going to hurt him. Rewards are fine but they can’t be everything. You don’t need to yell at him, but he NEEDS more structure and guidance than you’re giving him. Do you think all of our kids who have consequences for bad behavior hate us? No! My kids love and need me and it’s my job to parent them to grow up to be a productive member of society. You need to separate your past and your own parent issues from how you parent your kid. You will ALL be happier once there’s some structures in place. Maybe look for a parent coach?[/quote]

You’re so right. I know he fights for control and then gets control and then loses it.[/quote]

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