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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.[/quote]

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them?  I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.[/quote]

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true. [/quote]

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. [b]What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.[/b]

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.[/quote]

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.[/quote]

DP here. I can see both sides here. I'm thin but I work to maintain it. It's not hard work but it takes some attention. My SIL constantly digs at me when we see each other. Little frequent comments here and there. She doesn't mean them as compliments. She's angry. I know she's not really angry at me; she's angry at herself. Still, it's a little annoying and wearing to constantly deflect and smile.

She's quite obese now and I feel for her. She must feel like she's facing a big, uphill battle. I'd support her if she'd let me but all she wants to do is dig.[/quote]

IME, the women who are the most resentful and openly mean/critical of thin women are not obese. They are a more moderate weight (like a size 6-10) and are constantly trying to lose 15-20 lbs, often with really restrictive fad diets that are totally unsustainable, and they are bitter and angry when they see someone who is 15-20 lbs lighter than them without doing these dumb, miserable diets. Often it's people who used to be thin, but then gained weight for some reason and can't lose it, and just live in constant misery trying to regain their former glory as a thin person.

They get mad because they feel they are "earning" thinness with their dieting and resent that other people get it without earning it. But it's an arbitrary measure of attractiveness. It's like resenting someone for having a beautiful face or perfect boobs or something. No one "deserves" this stuff and no one "deserves" to less attractive either. It just is.[/quote]

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