Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.

DP here. I can see both sides here. I'm thin but I work to maintain it. It's not hard work but it takes some attention. My SIL constantly digs at me when we see each other. Little frequent comments here and there. She doesn't mean them as compliments. She's angry. I know she's not really angry at me; she's angry at herself. Still, it's a little annoying and wearing to constantly deflect and smile.

She's quite obese now and I feel for her. She must feel like she's facing a big, uphill battle. I'd support her if she'd let me but all she wants to do is dig.

IME, the women who are the most resentful and openly mean/critical of thin women are not obese. They are a more moderate weight (like a size 6-10) and are constantly trying to lose 15-20 lbs, often with really restrictive fad diets that are totally unsustainable, and they are bitter and angry when they see someone who is 15-20 lbs lighter than them without doing these dumb, miserable diets. Often it's people who used to be thin, but then gained weight for some reason and can't lose it, and just live in constant misery trying to regain their former glory as a thin person.

They get mad because they feel they are "earning" thinness with their dieting and resent that other people get it without earning it. But it's an arbitrary measure of attractiveness. It's like resenting someone for having a beautiful face or perfect boobs or something. No one "deserves" this stuff and no one "deserves" to less attractive either. It just is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.

"I have never had this experience, thus I conclude it must be your fault that you have." Okay, cool, thank you for explaining why your opinion is totally invalid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.

DP here. I can see both sides here. I'm thin but I work to maintain it. It's not hard work but it takes some attention. My SIL constantly digs at me when we see each other. Little frequent comments here and there. She doesn't mean them as compliments. She's angry. I know she's not really angry at me; she's angry at herself. Still, it's a little annoying and wearing to constantly deflect and smile.

She's quite obese now and I feel for her. She must feel like she's facing a big, uphill battle. I'd support her if she'd let me but all she wants to do is dig.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

I’m the thin person who refuses to be offended, and this has never happened to me. Frankly, there must be something else about you that makes people react to you like that. You sound like someone who chooses victimhood.

I’m thin and I don’t feel like I won and I don’t feel “chosen first”. I have been body shamed lots in my life, and I’m not talking about people saying “oh my god, you’re so skinny!” I mean people telling me I’m flat chested and flat assed, that my body is not sexy or appealing, that I have bad skin and bad teeth, etc.

Being thin is not the same as being pretty, accepted, or loved. I think a lot of people who obsess over being thin must already be attractive because if you think being thin, by itself, is going to make you “win”, you are very mistaken.

Anonymous wrote:Because all things being equal, looks, age, education, whatever if you’re thin you “win” in our society. You will be chosen first. It’s how the system is structured and we all know it! Of course you’re jealous. That’s life though so get over it and get on living your best self!

So are you saying that nothing trumps being thin?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you people need to stop judging and obsessing over other people. Be your best self. Life is short.

Easy for you to say. I’m short fat and ugly

My ex surprised me by sleeping with 4ft 10 chubby gals with no neck. He was a doctor. Believe me some men find it sexy.

There is SO much insecurity in this thread. It saddens me grown women really feel this way still.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I posted on the first page about this, but as a naturally thin person, what bothers me is not the assumption I have an eating disorder or even the envy itself. What bugs me is the way people in this thread, and many women I have known personally (including my mom), are blinded by that envy and cease to see me as a person. I have lost friends because they could never see past their envy of my thinness that I’m a person with a very normal life and my own problems, not a receptacle for their feelings about their own bodies.

I had a friend who would say to me, every time she saw me, “I hate you.” She thought it was a compliment, because she was talking about my thinness and how she envied it. She’d say it with a smile. But it was just a constant reminder that when she saw me, she never actually saw ME. I was just a trigger, something to remind her of her own body issues, a source of unhappiness. Plus, even if you have healthy self regard, hearing “I hate you” over and over wears on you. It feels bad.

So it’s not about being offended about people saying “oh you must have an eating disorder.” Or even “I hate you.” I know it comes from a hurt place. But it sucks when people only see this one thing about you that you can’t even control, and make up this imaginary person you must be and this imaginary life you must lead, all because they can’t see past your weight. It is hurtful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

I'm with you. I'm thin and maybe people have thought that, but who cares? In the end I know I don't have an eating disorder and am really lucky to have thin genes that allow me to eat normally and exercise for health and not beat myself up about my body because basically all of society tells me my body is right.

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you people need to stop judging and obsessing over other people. Be your best self. Life is short.

Easy for you to say. I’m short fat and ugly

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Look, be offended if you want. I’m thin and people have thought that about me, but I don’t care because it’s not true.

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand all the thin women on this thread taking offense. Of course being thin doesn’t mean you have no problems, but it means that you don’t have the problem of dealing with society’s judgment of heavier people, on top of all the other problems people have. I have always been thin, and I have had various problems—depression, underemployment, etc—but I have never had to think about my weight the way so many women do, every day. For that I am profusely grateful. And I have done nothing to “deserve” this blessing. It is simply genetic.

You don't think its offensive that some people automatically assume an eating disorder because someone is thinner than them? I don't think that is meant in a nice way or as a compliment. It's meant to offend so that someone with low self esteem can feel better about themselves. There's nothing healthy or positive about that attitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's genetic. No sense being jealous when other people have no control over their bodies either.

This. A small number of people can transform their bodies into another shape through discipline (or, yes, disordered eating or obsessive exercise). But the vast majority of thin women you see are simply genetically predisposed to it. They may gain weight if they have kids or in middle, or not. That can depend some on lifestyle, but even that has a genetic component.

Which is why it’s dumb to envy or shame anyone for their body shape or size. We like to pretend this is entirely within someone’s control, but it’s not.

Please note I’m not saying it’s not worth it to eat well and exercise. It 100% is, no matter your size. I’m just saying that eating well and exercise will not magically turn a body that is genetically designed to be a size 10 into a size 0. It’s just not realistic or even useful. Your genetic size is what it is, embrace it and stop resenting others born with different kinds of bodies.

But if everyone were genetically predisposed to just being large, how do you account for the increasing weight of Americans the past few decades? It’s not just genetics. It’s eating processed junk, normalizing larger portions, and consuming an increased amount of added sugars.

Bc the woman who was a sz 10 went on a diet, lost 20lbs and then gained 40, again and again. The fat phobia we have and this notion that thin is moral and good and fat is immoral and sinful has been exploited by the diet and exercise industry to the point where the majority of women, even those at a perfectly healthy weight are dieting, which 98% of the time fails and turns into a higher weight person with a screwed up metabolism. I’d venture that if some portion of sz 10-14 women just accepted it and went on with their lives, they wouldn’t turn into sz 18+ women. I mean I know this doesn’t explain the entire global rise of obesity, but IMO it explains it in MC & UMC people who have resources.

OMG, you people need to stop judging and obsessing over other people. Be your best self. Life is short.