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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I had a friend who used to [b][color=red]live in a separate house from her husband. They needed their space.[/color][/b] I think you might be happiest like that.

Everyone is going to wear sweatpants at home eventually. Unless you don't live together. Then they can make the special effort that keeps you interested once they are down to being their regular self.

You'd probably hate knowing they're in the bathroom taking a s**t, too, honestly - so maybe just don't spend so much time witn anyone that they're ever doing that when you're at the house

I do think for many of us we get the frisson OR we get the comfort and stability. Sounds like you're longing for more of the former. So, maybe you need to take a step back. And know this about yourself for future relationships.[/quote]

This is an undervalued setup in the United States and I wish that it was more normalized.  I think I'd still be married if xH and I had this arrangement.  NOT 'open marriage' -- rather, a monogamous committed couple that shares everything (finances, health insurance, family responsibility) except an address.

I fully recognize that this would be trickier with young children but that's not a deal killer.  I could've built a 2nd small home in my backyard, for example, with a shared playset, grill and patio in between.

I know one family in DC who owns a giant rowhouse and one parent has the 2-story upstairs unit and the other has the 2-story lower unit.  The only child moves between both.  Again, monogamous people.  [/quote]

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