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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our policy is no piercings or tattoos until 21.  Not even ears. [/quote]

+1. Same.  Takes the discussion and begging off the able.  When they are of legal age and sound mind, they can make holes in themselves. [/quote]

How do you enforce that? You can’t stop an 18 year old from getting a piercing or tattoo. [/quote]

You threaten to stop paying their college tuition.

Honestly, it’s all about family rules and expectations.  [/quote]

This is what I started the other thread about.  I'm with you on having rules and expectations.  But sometimes kids break those rules and fail to meet those expectations.  Your kid comes home for winter break with a nose stud.  Do you really stop paying tuition?[/quote]

Yes.  But when you have a history of saying what you mean and meaning what you say all your kids lives, it never comes to that. [/quote]

My parents were like this, PP, and it worked.  My brothers and I never tested them after toddlerhood.  [/quote]

It works because you and your siblings and pps kids are very compliant. Not all people are. I'm thinking of my sister here who would have got the piercing, moved out, found another way to do college and cut my parents off completel   forever, no grandchildren etc.[/quote]

NP here.   Your sister has serious oppositional disorders, PP.  [/quote]

Not really.   She just wouldn't have our parents trying to control her as an adult, which I'm sure you would feel the same.  She's what used to be called strong-willed or what DCUMErs now call their kids  CEO's in training. Fortunately fo all of us our parents idea of parenting wasn't based on control and rigidity. My sister is also a pretty cool person. I'm sure her tendency to question everything drove our parents nuts, but that little pain in the ass grew into a badass with an awesome career that's saving lives by constantly  questioning a pushing back against norms.[/quote]

Then you described her incorrectly.  An inability to follow a family rule with the defiance you described is classic oppositional disorder.  We are all “controlled” in society by laws, morals, and cooperation.  To take such a strong stance (as you described) is more than strong willed.  It’s childish and hurts only her.

NP here.  And my parenting isn’t based on control.  It’s based on cooperation and respect.  I was raised the same.  I defied my parents wishes when I joined the Peace Corp at 22 and again by moving to Scotland after graduate school.  But when I was being supported by them thru college, I definitely followed their rules and respected them.  No sex in the house and no tattoos or piercing.   Not hard or too much to ask of us. [/quote]

I can't decide on what's more pathetic your parents being upset about you joining the Peace Corps and moving to Scotland or that you at 40 +  years of age thinking those things are some big act of defiance.  I guess those are terrible things for conservatives though lol.[/quote]

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