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[quote=Anonymous].
[b]He is seeing an individual therapist for depression, which he only told me several months later-- he hides the depression well behind a stoic demeanor.[/b]

To OP: The line above from your original post jumped out at me.

The fact he was able to seek help for depression is a good thing. Many, many people, especially many men, do not want to talk to a therapist.

But the fact he hid it from you would make me question, in your position, what else he has kept hidden.

Clearly the feelings that he is non-binary are something he has felt he had to keep hidden until a certain point. That's understandable. It must have been concerning for him, wondering what he was feeling and how to express it to you. It's good he has told you that and possibly the therapy helped him get to the point he could tell you. Again, that's positive (as in, better than your not knowing).

But I would truly be asking him, please talk to me if there is anything else going on with you because I cannot start working through this if I feel there's any other shoe that's going to drop. Don't let any other things come out in slow drips or big revelations later.

I want to be clear, I am NOT trying to insinuate there is some Big Secret Still There. I'm saying that, by your own admission, he is very stoic and hides well, plus he hid the fact he was in therapy (did you also know he was depressed or did you only find that out after he came clean about being in therapy for it?). He is a person who doesn't share his thought processes with you, it seems. In your position as it is now, not being sure what happens next re: marriage, attraction, etc. -- I would want total transparency on both your parts to be the absolute rule.
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