Reply to Single mom of teens vs 58 year old bf’s request for attention

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it possible he morphed from someone who wanted to be an involved BF, almost "stepdadish" with helping with homework and soccer, into disengaged and jealous because you were complaining about how he let YOU down and prioritized his kids over you?

I've found that dating after divorce with kids is just hard no matter what, and you can't count on finding a better situation if you decide to just dump him.  Might be worth trying a little harder to communicate better, and enjoy the time you have together when you don't have your kids.  I personally wouldn't directly say or even imply that the person I'm exclusively dating is not my priority (although they may figure that out by my actions).  There are ways you can make him feel prioritized, even when you can't be with him, like by sending nice texts, answering calls, etc.

Good luck. [/quote]

Wow great insight and maybe, yes!! He was dressing up for Halloween, planning kid centered outings, etc and now he’s kind of gone awol. I never complained about his prioritizing his own kid however, so that’s not why. He is like a dense box when it comes to his own kid- he literally does not/cannot listen to anyone else including the kid himself!!

He’s also a not a very good listener in general, and major man-splainer who never knows he’s doing it. When I discuss something complex he immediately fades out. Once we were in a grocery store checkout and he mansplained me so hard that the checker called him out and sort of jokingly forced him to apologize to me. That was actually a cool moment because it shook his sense of and momentarily paused his complete arrogance for a hot second. I think he’s just faded out rather than continue to be present in retaliation for my “busyness”. I was too busy to notice this, however… ;)

After I read this I sent him a loving little text message. Hey babe looking forward to seeing yah soon! Etc. I don’t know relationships are hard wtf. I agree- what other BF would be any better? Other than the wondering experience falling in love prekids with the love of your
life, what can I even hope for? Kind of seems like “pick your poison” to me… [/quote]

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