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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my DD is like this, I tell her that she is not going to speak to me that way. So, she needs to go somewhere and cool the eff down (or I do) and when she is ready to "act like a human" and she can express herself like the adult she wants to be, then we'll talk. If she continues, I leave the room.

I do love her. But I'm not here to be her punching bag.

I give some time/space and then, if she doesn't come to me, I go to her. Were the disrespect to continue, then the flames of my fury would fall upon her and she knows it. Besides a tongue-lashing, she'd lose every privilege imaginable. Mercifully, the latter has never come to pass. She always blinks first.

I'm trying to get her to know that, just b/c she's angry, she doesn't get to act like a B to people. I'll listen to her vent (that's a good thing) but I do not let her take her frustrations out on me (and vice versa). This happens less and less now (for now?) So, this works for her.

Stay tuned. I'm sure more Adventures in Teenagering ahead.[/quote]

As a  high school teacher, this is what I would advise, along with a lot of other good advice you have received about setting boundaries. Teens act like they don’t want rules, push back, etc. but they really,really need you to be assertive and not let them walk all over you. Stating the boundary, them giving space to chill for a bit is really important too because teens need to save face. In class, when I ask a student to stop talking or put away a phone, I always turn away or keep teaching, so that they can comply without me staring them down. Don’t confront her in front of other people if you can avoid it—she will fight you even more ferociously, in order to save face. [/quote]

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