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[quote=Anonymous]One of the reasons that America is still grappling with racism is that people don't actually talk honestly to each other.  Yes, Aunt Becky's behavior was horrid.  And no, I don't think OP should risk exposing her kids to Aunt Becky when she won't be there to crisis manage the situation in the event she hasn't changed.  But maybe have an honest conversation with your MIL, assuming you have a good relationship with her, and air it all out.  Maybe MIL wants to take the kids to Aunt Becky's to make her own point to her old friend, i.e.  "These are MY grandkids, old friend Becky, and I think they are AWESOME."  And yes, old people---particularly those who grew up in a more racist time---can change.  My cousin adopted transracially.  Prior to the adoption, my aunt expressed privately concern to my mom that she didn't know if she could ever the feel the same about the adopted child as she did about cousin's bio DD.  But once the child arrived, all my aunt's concerns disappeared, and 20 years later she cannot believe she ever held that thought and regrets that she did.  People are complicated and people evolve.  [/quote]

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