Reply to Would you kick out an adult child with depression?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Once a kid is 21, you can’t enforce treatment, medication or employment or chores.  We see this scenario on DCUM with posters whose sibling is still living with the parents and aren’t taking care of the parents. Failure to launch, entitled freeloader or mental illness?   It’s a fine line.[/quote]

Actually, it's 18, not 21.  But, in reality, you can't even always force these things before that.  For those with money, it's an easier road because you have options such as residential treatment, available to you and your child.

As to the question about kicking out an adult child with depression, it's not so easy to know the answer to that.  I have a young adult child with depression and a host of other mental health disorders, so I live this every single day of my life.  I have prioritized my child over friends, family and virtually everything else in my life except my job and that's because my job helps pay for the treatment and without my job, we couldn't afford the treatment.  Everyone in our household has suffered.

I can't imagine that at any point I will give up on helping him move into a fully productive life (and we are making progress).  But, on the other hand, there are many nights when I slept with furniture pushed against my bedroom door and a ladder hanging out my bedroom window.  He wasn't an adult then so kicking him out wasn't an option.  Had it been, I might have.  So, I guess for me, I could get to that point.  But, it wouldn't be over chores.

As for working and financially contributing, I could care less.  But, I don't give any of my kids who are capable of working any money or access to vehicles.  So, I haven't had the experience of my kids, including the one who has the serious mental health issues, refusing to work.  And, I take the stance that I do because some of the most important things to success is routine, having someplace to go, having responsibilities, etc.  I certainly can't expect my mentally ill child to work while I give things to my healthy ones.  [/quote]

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