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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I come from a different culture where we are not used to wearing a bikini. We live in a community with a pool that is the focal point of all kids and social activities. So I let DH take the kids to the pool and for anything pool related. This weekend I ended up going along with DH and I got really jealous of the way DH was chatting with other women in bikinis. I can sense he is checking them out although with sunglasses it is all hidden.

I know I am in an impossible situation where I cannot take the kids because I am uncomfortable and find myself with envy at the way DH chats with other women when he takes them.

I am in good shape so it is not my weight or looks. Even with more modest swimwear it is really uncomfortable for me when men are around. I guess I am just venting but does it get more comfortable as you wear a bikini over time? Do other women find it uncomfortable at first and slowly get used to it? Or are you at ease right from the beginning?

[/quote]

It seems very few, if any, actually answered your questions, OP. I get it’s a public forum and all, but people could at least try to answer the questions BEFORE deciding to dole out a bunch of unsolicited advice or go on ranting diatribes. Such is life, I guess.

Yes, in my opinion, it does get more comfortable over time. That is, if you’re uncomfortable at first eventually you’ll get used to it. Obviously there are some who are at ease right from the beginning, some who may be thought of as having no shame, but there’s probably fewer of those types out in the wild. I’ve been wearing bikinis my entire life, and even I’m sometimes a little uncomfortable when I first try out a new trend that’s different than what I’m used to. You’d never guess it though because I’m very petite and trim, so most would probably accuse me of being an attention seeker if I ever expressed any sort of insecurity about it.

For example, I started wearing the cheeky high-leg bikini bottoms last year and it was not something I was used to, coming from the hipster style bottoms with moderate coverage. My butt got some color for once! The more I wore them, the less uncomfortable I became. This summer, those are the only bottoms I reach for and what I’m most comfortable in. I even pointed out to my DH a few weeks ago as I was trying on a new suit I ordered how it was funny that I felt uncomfortable when I first started wearing those bottoms but now that’s all I wear and I specifically look for bottoms like that anytime I order a new suit.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to take it further and sport a brazilian or a thong, because those just aren’t my jam. I also don’t hang out at community pools, so I can’t speak to that, either. Your mileage may vary on that front, as it seems most community-oriented activities these days are seldom served without a side of overarching competitiveness.

The point is, though, that the overwhelming majority aren’t comfortable when they do [i]anything[/i] for the first time in their lives. And it may or may not always be apparent, either. Most often, someone’s comfort level is a gradual slope they’ve eased into as their exposure to it increased. Obviously, I’m talking about volunteered/wanted exposure, and not forced. As long as you’d like to be able to do something, and then decidedly do it, you’ll eventually get more comfortable with it. [/quote]

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