Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They are your parents and while you are not required to look after them when they are old, you could have done more in the end. You feel regret. This is about you.[/quote]

OP here. 
There are 3 things I could have done differently:

1) move back home and live with Dad medium/long term. This was never going to happen. It would have cost me my job and, if we're talking about a couple of years as one PP suggested, it would have cost me my marriage too. DH had a career and he wasn't going to give it up or leave his country. I was, and still am, the lower earner in our marriage.
I loved my Dad a lot but I didn't want to move in with him long term

2) move my Dad to live with us or into assisted living. No chance! You didn't know my Dad. I did. He was not the kind of person who would meekly follow someone else's instructions or suggestions. He did exactly what he wanted. He was a rebel at heart, and he always did his own thing.

3) not move abroad. Sadly I'm unable turn back the clock. What's done is done.

I do still think that local relatives could have done more too. I may have been unreasonable expecting them to offer physical labor, but they could have checked on him from time, or called him to ask if he was OK. It would have been nice ...

I guess I felt more mad about their lack of interest in my Dad than anything else. I know it was not their responsibility to be caregivers, but they could have shown some empathy for my Dad, his situation and mine, given that Dad and I were both struggling, and I was living overseas.[/quote]

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