Reply to Affair discovery anniversary is wedding anniversary

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I appreciate all the replies! 
I was ALWAYS one of those “kick them to the curb if they cheat” people. Until I found myself in the situation and realized that there are so many factors that make that decision less clear-cut. 
Long history of being together in a generally happy marriage. He’s my best friend. I do still love him, and I know he messed up but loves me too.
4 wonderful, well-adjusted kids. He’s an amazing dad
Close, intertwined social/family/in-law relationships
Finances (although I’m well off in my own career so this would not stand in my way).

This doesn’t mean I’m not still angry and hurt. He’s remorseful and trying very hard. Maybe I’m naive, but I don’t believe he would cheat again. We are both trying hard to make our “new” marriage as good as possible.

At the moment, I don’t want to find a new date to celebrate. I don’t want to renew my vows. I think we have to earn celebrating our marriage again, with time.

My preference would be to just act like the anniversary is any other day and for it to be over quickly.  Go to work, come home, have dinner with the kids, watch a TV show and go to sleep. But I know my husband will try to do something special, so I have to make my wishes known and that will be the awkward conversation. [/quote]

You have zero reason to feel awkward.  It's not you bringing up an awkward conversation.  It is you standing up for yourself and holding him accountable for his mistakes.  Apologize to no one.

That said, I have to get this off my chest -- when you were saying kick them to the curb if they cheat, you truly never understood that people generally love and have built a life with their spouse?  [/quote]

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