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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some parents are just determined to be disappointed. I have an Ivy law degree, but deliberately chose a low-paying career path. My parents were angry at me about that until they died. A cousin of mine is an Ivy-educated doctor who did every single thing his parents ever asked of him career-wise. [b]They were angry and disappointed when he married another Ivy-educated doctor because... she wasn't hot enough. [/b]You can never, ever win. (Yes, we're Asian.)

If your kid is more or less mentally and physically healthy, and grows up to be able to hold down a job and be a functioning member of society, that's really not the worst thing in the world. I don't really care if my kids do anything prestigious or make a lot of money. I just want them to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted.[/quote]

What? Women can never win. 
[/quote]

Korean? I married into a Korean family and this sounds exactly like something my extended family would say. (And no, I’m not hot enough or well educated enough for them, either.)[/quote]

I’m Korean American Ivy educated and married a doctor. Dh’s brother is also a doctor. He once brought a girl home who was also a doctor and all of us thought she was kind of fat. We all thought BIL could do way better. She didn’t have a pretty face either.

I have 2 sons. I just want them to be happy and healthy. I probably would comment if I thought the girl was not pretty or not smart. I don’t think this is unique to Koreans. I don’t care about profession. If my son was in love, my opinion doesn’t matter.[/quote]

I'm also Korean-American.  My family was somewhat like this, but yours is extreme and I'm very surprised you have already decided to choose ahead of time that you'd make superficial comments about your kids' future spouses, particularly if it doesn't matter.

FYI, my mom was like this too, and I resented her for many years, even as a child, for being so judgemental- doesn't matter if your parents are from another country and the reason is cultural, if you're living in the U.S., it won't fly here and it will only mess up your kids.  It angered and confused me when my parents told me they thought such and such friend was chubby, not going to a good school, etc., when I knew that they knew I enjoyed their company, and they were essentially "good" people who were a good friend, and/or a positive influence to me.  Now that I have a kid, I realize this more than ever.

Break the cycle.  [/quote]

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