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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep my parents are disappointed in me because I'm not married, don't have a traditional family (shared custody situation w/ 1 kid), so my life doesn't look like what they imagined -- DH + 2 kids + family dinner nightly + living in a big house etc.

So because of that nothing I do matters. Not the big career. Not the money I make. Not the vacations I take. And I KNOW them if I only had a DH and it was a WE living this life, they'd brag to everyone about their D/SIL being sooo rich, living in a new house blah blah. It's definitely caused some distance as I see them gushing about their niece and nephew who have these things and can thus do no wrong. Yet me - eh whatever. Except when someone needs to do deal with their bullshit, then of course it's me.[/quote]

Can I ask if you’re from an immigrant background? [/quote]

PP here -- yes of course I am. One where divorce is shame for the whole family, you should just stay with the man and be unhappy your whole life. It's a culture where your happiness (on any issue) is much much less important than "what will people say."[/quote]

PP here with the doctor cousin who married someone not hot enough (and to answer someone's question from way back, I'm Indian). I'm also not married, and of course the whole family shames me for it. But they also shame my cousin who had an arranged marriage to the perfect Indian doctor-- who turned out to be gay (she divorced him quickly and never remarried). And they shame the cousin who married and divorced a loser white guy in her late 30s because she really wanted to have kids and felt like she had to be married to do that, because what would people think if she had kids without being married? Now her ex does cocaine in front of the kids and CPS is involved, but at least she was married instead of having a kid alone! And they shame the cousin who got divorced, but then remarried to a great guy-- who is black.

There is no winning this game. The only way to win is not to play, which is why I don't really care what my kids do for a living, or what college they go to, or who/ if they marry or have kids (within reason-- I mean, I hope they don't become strippers or something).
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