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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]sorry OP, my spouse has ADHD as does one of my children. The other is the most organized functional human in our family.

I have to treat both DH and DS like kids with adhd. Structure, expectations, nothing rushed. Announce plenty of times with plenty of time  what the expectations and schedules for the day are. Like at breakfast: OK, by 10 am you need to shower. You need make sure you are showered, dressed with teeth brushed before you and Dad go out to do X. That means you need to get off your device now. You also have get dad to agree to the schedule. Then you need reminders for both.

but yeah DH can be super sensitive although usually he is the one barking orders because he feels such inner chaos that it alleviates it and he is at least on board with things like showers, etc. [/quote]

My aspie spouse is 80% negligent and ignores all of us when he’s home.  Then he’s 10% goofball with the kids, who have vastly o ur grown that, and 10% raging/ yelling since he lost track of time or missed something and then blames (gaslights) the kids.  It’s horrible to watch a father gaslight his own 5 or 7 yo or tel them they did not just hurt themselves (when they did).  So fd up.

Don’t know what to do. [/quote]

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