Reply to Everyone keeps commenting on how much they hate our new baby's name

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For the people who think it is fake... I don't think you have what some people consider to be a "generic" first name with a "filler" middle. You get the comments and eye rolls regardless of family history or stories behind them.

It's unbelievable the amount of hate and comments from people. It falls into the category of Sara Grace, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Katherine/Catherine, Sophia, etc. It's annoying in particular when the comments come from people named things like Rachel.

It's always rude. It always reflects poorly back on the person saying it. I think the issue isn't the name but something else.

If they are this obnoxious about a nice name then I doubt this is the first time they have been openly disrespectful to OP about things that are none of their business to offer an opinion on.[/quote]

Yes to all of this. I don't know why, but some people are just jerks about baby names. Actually, I am going to speculate as to why.

I think it's jealousy. I think people, but especially women, are often jealous/covetous of a woman who is pregnant or has a new baby, and I think the hyper-opinionated and judgmental attitudes come from wanting to be in the new mother's position and feeling she could do it better.

And I don't think this is about infertility, either, because no one I know who has struggled with infertility is like this. My friends who were going through infertility when I was pregnant were among my most supportive friends. They sometimes chose to keep a bit of distance, but they were unfailingly kind. They may have envied my pregnancy, but they were also happy for me because I was doing what they wanted to be doing. They saw it as a mitzvah, properly.

But the women who are judgmental and rude are often already mothers, and resentful and unkind to new moms because it makes them feel old or like their chance at that experience is over, and they take it out on the new mom. Or I also sometimes see it from women who are far from having kids, like women in their 20s who are still dating around. I think they are thinking prospectively about what it might be like to be pregnant and have a baby, and some of them think "Oh, I'd do this better than she'd do it."

I would never say this stuff out loud to anyone because I think it plays into stereotypes about women being jealous and catty towards one another. But after having a baby and dealing with, bizarrely, some of the unkindest behavior I have ever been on the receiving end of, I've thought about this a lot. A lot of people have some deeply felt but buried feelings around other people having babies, and instead of dealing with those feelings, they just take it out on people. They need some damn therapy.[/quote]

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