Reply to How to Make Friends with Likeminded Moms, esp. Working Moms

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't dismiss the SAHMs because of this level of superficial conversation.  I think many people would take a little bit longer to have conversations about hot ticket items because it can require a level of comfort that takes time to build.  Add into the fact that this is occurring when you're distracted watching toddlers or preschool aged kids, I just think it takes time that you're not giving them.  You seem a bit dismissive.

As for how I met my friends who are like the people you're looking for, I joined an activity for myself.  Most are working parents with kids of various ages.  But again, it took time for friendships to develop beyond the superficial conversation stage. [/quote]

OP here. I've hung out with people for 2-4 years and gotten to know them quite well. It's not like I write people off after one playdate. We just don't click and don't have much in common...I keep hanging out with them anyway, but they still change the subject whenever I try to bring up the deeper topics that interest me. [/quote]

I am a SAHM. I went to Harvard and had a long career before deciding to stay home. I check all your boxes. Just because someone is smart does not make you friends. I have a mix of working and SAHM friends. I have a lot of friends I met in mom groups, preschool and the PTA. We live in an area with well educated parents.

You should focus on making friends, not mom friends.[/quote]

I'm also a SAHM and, like you, I went to fancy brand schools and had a fancy job before chucking the job.  Also, like you, I have a lot of friends --- "mom friends", but also old friends  from school and from work, and neighbors, and friends from volunteer gigs, and friends from book groups, and from classes I've taken, etc.  My youngest child is now in college, and it's been interesting to see my peer moms who have been WOHM for years suddenly realizing that they don't have friends.  I am very grateful that, as a SAHM, I've had the opportunity to cultivate and maintain friendships.  Maybe in the post-pandemic era, as we think about what a healthier work-life balance could look like, we can give some consideration to the benefits of friendships.   [/quote]

Did your DH maintain his friendships? [/quote]

She social engineers her DH’s and DC’s friendships 😀

I am a WOHM with three close friends whom I see individually or together at least once a month despite having little kids. I’m sure that time will increase when the kids grow up and leave us alone! I don’t need to quit so I can do weekday coffees and lunches because I’d rather be busy using my brain rather than hanging out at Starbucks all day chatting about the price of groceries...[/quote]

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