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College and University Discussion
Reply to "s/o this brutal admissions year"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Eh, do we really want our kids to absorb the message that the purpose of life is to work as hard as possible and get into the best college possible? That is joyless and not the life I want my kids to have. They can have a good life without conducting original scientific research at 16 or being the "best" or "top."[/quote] This. The problem is not kids doing the work. The problem is setting expectation so that they think their life is over if they don't get into the "top" school (however you define it). The problem is overprepping for SATs and making your kids take them again if they got a really good score but not a "great" score. The problem is pushing kids into activities they don't want to do "for college applications" and leaving them no time to pursue their own hobbies or interests The problem is telling them that a B is not good enough, even if it is the best they can do in a particular class. The problem is pushing our kids to become the person we think they should be (grades, college, career, etc) instead of letting them make their own choices and own them. It has been more than 10 years since "Race to Nowhere" came out, but things have not changed much if we are still having the same conversations.[/quote] This. 100% this! [/quote] Ditto. Kids need to know there are plenty of schools where they can get a good start in life. Hard work in high school gives them more options and the learning and habits established are their own rewards. I encourage my kids to do ECs because they make life richer, not to get into college. And, that's reinforced by taking time myself to exercise, participate in a music group, volunteer, etc. As a result, DS's EC resume was not impressive, but he does things he enjoys that he can do for a long time. His grades were strong and improved from 9th-12th but he didn't do AP/honors everything, opting for regular-level classes in one subject he dislikes. Happily, he's going to Virginia Tech. But he also would have been happy at U of Delaware in the honor college, which was his 2nd choice if VT didn't work out. DH and I both went to state schools for undergrad and grad school and have done well in life, I'm sure he will do well too.[/quote]
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