Reply to Do you have a difficult child and how do you define one? Not special needs. Just difficult.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Makes me think... I know a difficult adult - very negative and stubborn. I wonder if she was a difficult child. She doesn’t get along with her parents too well but I thought it was more about them.
Do difficult children ever grow out of it? Barring special needs. [/quote]

Grow out of what, specifically? Some kids are difficult because they are very independent and opinionated. Those are qualities that can serve an adult very well but can make for a very challenging 8 year old. Likewise, an 8 year old who does whatever she is told and knows how to accommodate others is an exceedingly easy child, but might have huge issues as an adult if she doesn't learn to assert herself or to question whether every rule needs to be followed.

A difficult kid isn't a "bad" kid. Precocious kids are often difficult because they behave and want to be treated like small adults, and that's not only counter to how our society thinks about children but it can also be illegal.

So to say you know a difficult adult... it may have no correlation whatsoever. If she is negative and stubborn with you, that reflects your relationship with her. A lot of the challenges of difficult kids stem from the fact that as their parent or teacher, you are an authority figure and that places you in opposition to a child who is determined to be their own authority. But it would be odd to have that relationship with a fellow adult unless you are their boss, and even then your authority would begin and end in the workplace.

It's possible she was a difficult child whose parents never figured out how to deal with her independence or individualism. That could lead her to be stubborn and negative as an adult because that was the dynamic she was raised in. But that would still be a product of poor parenting. An adult can be difficult to get along with, but that's a distinctly different issue than having a child who is difficult to parent. If you don't get along with an adult you can just distance yourself. That's not an option (or shouldn't be an option) for parents.[/quote]

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