Reply to Do you have a difficult child and how do you define one? Not special needs. Just difficult.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my experience, it might be impossible to determine which difficult kids are special needs.

I was a difficult child.

When I was around 3 months old, I presented with several health issues that could not be diagnosed. Then one day I just grew out of my illness. Years down the road, I developed weird behavioral issues. By 11, I was diagnosed(misdiagnosed, but that is a story for another day) with an anxiety disorder, and I went on to develop neorological symptoms in early adulthood. Fortunately, I can manage almost all my symptoms with diet and vigilance. My parents look back now and see that the infanthood issues never went away; my body found a way to adapt, and the issues were expressed outwardly through behavioral outlets.

As a child, I couldn't tell them what was going on inside me because I did not know what "normal" was. I know the difference now because I have experienced life without some of my symptoms. If I could go back in time, I would. I would hug myself, my parents, and my teachers for the hell that we all went through. 
I am extremely grateful for parents, godparents, teachers, friends who loved me in all my difficult ways. I was probably easier to "love" than some difficult kids because I was rarely phsical(did not hit, bite, push etc). And I was extremely "book smart" (that's how my mother called it -- good at taking tests:-)

I am a much easier adult now. I think I am happier than most people because I have been through some stuff so my perspective is different. And I am better at communication because I am less anxious about conflict than most adults (I spent my childhood welcoming conflict at home and in school :-)

If you have a difficult child, be consistent with discipline. However, watch out for possible signs of some health disorder. Unfortunately, no matter how vigilant you are, there are still issues that you will never catch(my parents took me to all kinds of specialists). Be loving and your child will be grateful one day.[/quote]

PP...such a nice take. Love your kid for who they are, not who you wish they were. Seek help and think outside the box about what success looks like. Read Greene and Kazdin. Let go of society’s BS expectations. [/quote]

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