Reply to Feeling sad that daughter seems to be gay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I guess what disappoints me is that I always imagined one day she would find a loving husband and would one day have a traditional family of her own. I looked forward to attending her wedding, and watching her marry her groom, and adding a son-in-law to the family (all my children are girls). I realize of course lesbian couples can marry and have children. But I feel society still attaches some stigma to these family structures and doesn’t perceive then as fully “normal.” So as much as I want to be supportive - and I will fake it if I have to - the truth is, I’m feeling sad. [/quote]

I feel bad for OP here because she's indicated she wants to support her daughter and has been open about her own feelings, and even she questions her feelings.  In typical DCUM fashion, a group comes of out of the woodwork to excoriate her.

Here's my take on this;  Every parent unconsciously believes that his/her children will be like them.  When they are not, there's a bit of unconscious cognitive dissonance that goes on.  I think OP is trying to work through that cognitive dissonance.

Note that it can happen to any parent:

My white daughter is dating a black guy
My black son is dating an asian woman
My muslim child is dating a hindu

etc etc etc

It doesn't automatically mean the parent is a _______ist.  [/quote]

It’s not excoriating her to point out that her daughter’s  greatest risk is, in fact, from her. I also don’t know why you think that gay people on an LGBT board are in “the woodwork”. We’ve been right here all along.

I wish OP luck, and I also hope that she remembers that she has the potential to greatly help or greatly harm her daughter by her attitude. [/quote]

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