Reply to Feeling extremely discouraged. A rant.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my opinion: Extremely bold of the DH to ask for financial contribution breakdowns when he is actively resisting getting full time work and only contributing 30% of prior income  :shock: [/quote]
So every SAHM should be ok with her DH telling her that she better put in thousands into their account while watching kids and fully knowing she doesn't have a job?
Let's just reverse these roles. SAHM, not working, one of those that is a poor housekeeper and feels overwhelmed by child care, she should somehow make Ks appear out of thin are and we would all applaud her DH who demanded that she pulls her weight financially?
We have many such threads, and while often the advice is to get her act together re child care and housekeeping, I have never heard the advice that such SAHM ought to make Ks appear and put them in the bank account.
How and why is this SAHD, as bad as he is as it, a loser for not putting money in the bank? Even though he is somehow, who knows how, but not only is he criticized for penny-pinching, he is a loser for not putting enough in the account.
Our advice to burned-out SAHM is to take some time for herself and to make sure DH is helping in the evening and does her share. But, our advice to SAHD is that every minute should be with the kids?[/quote]

But he’s not a stay at home dad! For one, I think a parent staying at home involves a discussion by both spouses. Here, dad lost job and will not get a full-time gig. He’s choosing to do what sounds like contract work. That’s a unilateral selfish decision.

You can’t say- I don’t want to work AND. I don’t want to take are of kids/home. Wtf that’s being a leech [/quote]
Sounds to me like he does earn money, why OP won't clarify how much money he still brings to the table? If he is asking her to deduct some grandma donation to their mutual pool, he is clearly feeling very defensive about his earnings and her putting him down. How come she won't say how much he still earns? How come a married couple is penny pinching who contributed what? Bcs she is putting him on the spot, no? That would never fly on dcum if OP was a male, never. Moms of children should be cherished even if they stay in the bathrobe all day long, but dad? 
No gym for you, loser.
Advice to mom: Honey, take an hour to go to the gym and leave the kids with your DH, he can take an hour a day to be with his kids.[/quote]

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