Reply to Evan Rachel Wood names her abuser.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think everyone assumed that it was Marilyln Manson considering she was with him when she was very young (and was probably abused by men before him). I cannot believe the victim blaming on this thread. You lot are disgusting.[/quote]

IT’S NOT VICTIM BLAMING!!!!! I have enormous sympathy for her. But DAMN, let’s use good judgment and instincts ladies! [/quote]

When you are young your instincts and judgements are less matured and your perception of dangerous behavior not as evolved as an adult. This isn’t just lack of experience, it’s biological and a reflection of brain and emotional development. Moreover, people like Manson, who groomed Wood from a young age, intentionally desensitize their victims to inappropriate and/or dangerous acts; it’s the entire point of grooming and how they prey on and ultimately exploit their victims. Lastly, in Hollywood, where children are adultified and sexualized, predatory behavior is - or has been historically - normalized.

All of which is to day, you ARE victim blaming. And you are substantiating it by using terms like “good judgement” that negate that young victims of rape, abuse, and assault are often deprived through grooming, lack of appropriate boundaries of adults around them, lack of supervision of truly caring, responsible adults, and sheer youth to detect what is assault versus affection, rape versus consensual sex, and “normal” versus inappropriate behavior.

Please stop. [/quote]

No.[b] I’ve been to pedophile & abuse training for youth.[/b] One of the biggest points they drive home is how to sharpen our senses, how to listen to our instincts. Your message seems to be implying to we have no instincts, agency, or ability to develop character discernment. We absolutely do. Young women must listen to them. In these training courses, they talk about grooming. They discuss what type of “asks” are inappropriate, and what type of “asks” should send a shiver down your spine.  Many of us know these things intuitively.  Many others need to hear it (especially kids). I do not blame Rachel whatsoever.  But...let’s encourage our kids to take people for their word. If they appear to be cruel, then don’t enter a relationship or leave it when it becomes apparent.  That’s all. And nothing I said is controversial. [/quote]

You either didn't pay attention, twisted it to suit your preset narrative, or need to get your money back. Your lack of understanding how this works is utterly disgusting.[/quote]

NP. Yeah, the pp is victim blaming. If only sex abuse victims could recognize the signs, listen to themselves, etc then they wouldn't be abused-- that is the definition of victim blaming.

Pp, I'm glad you took that training.  But people on this thread who are actual victims of abuse have told you that they grew up in situations that distorted their perception of normal so nothing seemed amiss. [/quote]

Not the person you're responding to but I don't think you're reading her post correctly.  It is because of their abuse that some people who have been abused get stuck in a bad pattern.  It is why you see people like Wood who go from bad circumstance to worse circumstance repeatedly.  They have learned to accept and even expect the abuse, and they become incapable of reading the signals to keep themselves safe and to make better choices.  Some people who have been abused need intensive retraining and therapy to learn how to do things that many of the rest of us do intuitively to keep ourselves safe.  That isn't victim blaming, it is recognizing why people like Woods continue to make choices that the rest of us would not make because they seem so unsafe and unhealthy.  It sounds like Woods is now finally working with a competent therapist.  I hope she sticks with it and I hope that she is able to come to some peace and happiness.[/quote]

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