Reply to So many who don’t like/respect parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]But if a person doesn't like or respect their parents, isn't that the parents' fault? [/b]I'm always reading on here about how children need to be taught to be respectful and grateful, and that parents who don't instill these value in their kids are falling down on the job. So it stands to reason that if you come across an adult who doesn't respect her parents, it must be because her parents failed at parenting, in which case... doesn't she have a reason to dislike and disrespect her parents?

Sorry being a bad parent has consequences, I guess? That's life.[/quote]

Not always.  See example above.[/quote]

Sometimes with narcissists, one sibling is the golden child, and another is the scapegoat. The golden child grows up being supported, praised, loved, encouraged, so they have a completely different child/parent relationship. The scapegoat is told they are inadequate, sometimes even neglected. There are many, many posts here with people hurt by the discrepancy, which then extends to grandkids. [/quote]

Of course this can happen. That doesn't mean all rocky parent-child relationships are a result of bad parenting.[/quote]

Where did I say it was? You (or PP) said, see example above. The example talked about two sisters who had different experiences with the same mother. I gave an example of why two children raised in the same household might have two very different opinions of their parent. I was the grandchild of the scapegoat in the scenario and can tell you that my cousin fondly and tearfully remembers a doting grandma and cuddly sleepovers and treats. I remember a distant, formal woman who barely acknowledged me and didn't even remember my birthday - basically the same way she treated my parent and their sibling as children.  [/quote]

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