Reply to My kid told me I’m a “sh***y mom”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Nah, it’s the age and love of screens.[/b]  My 9 year old acts the same way, although he wouldn’t dare curse- he says I’m mean and it’s unfair.  Make a chore chart and stick to your consequence.[/quote]

I call BS. It’s 4:48 am and you’re on your screen calling out a kid in an objectively difficult home situation. Is it an innate lack of empathy or is it your love screens?

This is a tough dynamic because as the oldest girl, parents subconsciously already demand more household chores. That combined with the other kids issues means her parents probably don’t even notice how much more they’re asking of her. She’s still a kid. And I bet it stings to always be the one being the one getting yelled at for chores when her brother and baby sister get praise just for existing.

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The 9 yr old is also the oldest. By default, she should have more responsibility than her siblings and she should be more mature and capable. She wants more attention and less chores. Most kids do. She also has to realize that she has pull her weight around the house and that not everyone can pull the same amount. At 9, you probably need to remind her of this on a regular basis. As mom, you have to realize that your oldest probably resents her siblings because she perceives an unfairness when it comes to chores and a lot of things. My 9 yr old has mentioned as much to me because he has watched me spend a ton of time with his brother, who needed a lot of help when he first started school and had a lot of therapies and appointments. Talk to your DD about it. Show her that you understand and make your side clear.
IMHO, all 3 kids can and should do chores. Its a part of being a family. Op, I know that it won't be 100% fair but you have to make it clear which child does what and why. My 9 yr old DS loads/unloads the washer, loads/unloads/turns on dryer, puts dishes away, puts his clothes way, makes/strips his bed, sets/clears the table, vacuums, cleans up around the toilet, cleans up his room and toys, dusts on occasion, and takes out the trash/recycling. My 12 yr old DS (has ADHD, mild CP, and some Anxiety) does the same as the 9 y old plus, turns on/adds detergent to washer on occasion, loads dishwasher, cleans inside their toilet, and cleans their bathroom counter. Surprisingly (sarcasm intended), they still have a ton of time to play video games and do things that they want.[/quote]

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