Reply to Deep Racism Problems at NCS and STA: Questions/Answers we can't get through admissions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here: I might imagine that some of the other privates are better, but is that actually just my imagination? For instance, the history of GDS is certainly inspiring, but I was surprised to read accounts on their ig page that sound a lot like the ncs dei director’s resignation letter that a pp so helpfully posted.  Indeed, both @blackatsidwell and @blackatgds contain deeply troubling posts as well. I couldn't even get through @blackatmaret. :( More than that, those IG feeds from gds and sidwell stopped adding contributions in August. I don’t know if that’s because issues are getting addressed, because there aren’t other stories to be told, because the schools channeled those voices to less public fora, or something else. I would love to read into that stop date positive things, but that seems a stretch.

[b]Fundamentally, it is just so frustrating not to be able to feel like we really can look at "fit" for all the attributes that make up my dc (intellectually insatiable, relatively sporty, funny, friendly, empathetic, chatty :), artistic, competitive, and again, interested in single sex). Is "fit" for the whole child just another luxury children of color dare to dream about? Is the only aspect of "fit" they get to consider which school is sufficiently less racist than another school?  I'm being serious with these questions. It feels as if our family can't even consider any number of otherwise excellent schools, whose programs would seem to fit DC very well, because we can't and won't trade DC's psychological well-being--even for a truly top education.  [/b]

Finally, to a pp who suggested we ask the school for current families to talk to: We have, and we will. However, there's school selection in those referrals. Beyond the school-selected referrals, we don't want to push. We are grateful to any family who wishes to speak, but we also know personally that many families in this situation are tired of always having to take on the burden of discussing these issues. In fact, and maybe I'm dreaming here, but we would like to hear from all types of families in these schools; this should be something everyone is taking on and caring about.

Thank you to those who have engaged with the thread topic, and I hope more people will contribute.

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Op, want to engage with this part. I also have children who are biracial - I’m the brown parent - and we are going down the road of elite private schools in the DMV.

In all seriousness, did you not expect that traditionally white institutions of power would work to preserve that power? I went to HYP for both my degrees, and until I went there I really didn’t understand how these institutions preserve the status quo despite their “liberal” cultures. They also serve as entry point into power, which is why they are so coveted - it’s not just the “education” you get.

I assume my DCs will have racist and sexist things said to them by their classmates, teachers, and other people in power. I can’t protect them from it - it’s not  a real trade off: mediocre but non-racist educational experience vs. excellent but racist experience — all the experiences will be racist, although some will be worse than others. I’m not sure how you can really judge/compare even if you had better data - some will be personal to your child’s experience: for example, they love math and the teacher supporting the math team is more biased against BIPOC than the theatre instructor.

I chose a lower school for my kids by going through all the school websites to see how much they talked about diversity, scrolled through ALL the faculty photos and literally counted who I thought was BIPOC to see if the school was trying to hire diverse staff, and talked with parents. I wanted a place where the culture of the school was to say the right things. But I know that the highly selective institutions are there to perpetuate power. [b]Frankly, now that I understand that, it’s one of the reasons I want my kids to attend[/b]. But the kids and teachers attending those kinds of institutions are not radical - which means you get all the ugliness that goes along with the existing power structures.[/quote]

NP but curious why you think like this (the bolded).
Is it because you want your kids to realize how power is structured in real life early on rather than when they are adults?[/quote]

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