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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP.  I'm a new poster here- a public school administrator.    If you are still reading after the recent rather harsh postings, I'd like to offer you some different advice.  First, I commend you for all the thought you have put into this situation and for wanting to help your DD process it.  Next, I want to say that from reading the threads and your daughter's version of the story, I personally have NO IDEA what happened in the classroom, whether your daughter was bullying or if it was just a one-time fight between two girls.  I think you've been pretty forthcoming here, but there still isn't enough evidence for us to understand what happened or why the discipline decisions were made.

I think you need to ask to speak with the admin or school counselor in order to understand why they labeled the altercation as an example of bullying.  It is critical for you to know this if you are going to support your daughter and support the school in having a safe and orderly environment.

You seem very reasonable to me.  If you found out that your daughter had a reputation for meanness in the school and had been observed multiple times in questionable situations, I imagine you would react and structure your home conversations very differently.  I imagine you would take that seriously and would want to understand what was causing your daughter to bully other children.

I suggest that you ask for a meeting, not to complain about the harsh messaging but to try and understand it.  If you discover that from the school's perspective, this was an isolated, one-time incident with your DD, I think it would be appropriate for you to share with the admin the concerns you have about your daughter being ostracized for making one mistake.  On the other hand, if there is more going on, you need to ask the school for suggestions about what you can do to help your daughter change her behavior.

Good luck.[/quote]

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