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Reply to "I can't keep subsidizing DS"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel your pain. Have you looked at the website empoweringparents.com? That might give you some ideas on how to manage your current situation and move forward. There are also support groups in the DMV area (google failure to launch) With our son, we finally set him up with a few career counseling sessions with a psychotherapist who also does career counseling. I screened the guy via phone and was satisfied, and then our son had an initial meeting, did a career test which was really useful, unlike the ones in high school, and did a few follow-up visits. Part of what I liked about this process was that it helped neutralize the situation for everyone. And, because it was a short-term commitment, it was easier for our son to get on board with participating. We basically said to our son, hey, you have to figure out your next step and I know it's not easy bc you have all these choices: 4-yr college, community college, trade school/apprenticeship, military, start a job, etc. I tried to make it low-key, and explain that we empathized with his situation (vs wanting to kick him out - I felt there was no upside to adding extra pressure to the process). But, I also said, "you *know* you need to choose something -- even if only temporarily" - and described how the career counselor would help him work through his options. I stressed to him that we, his parents, were totally OK with whatever he chose, and that (again) - this choice didn't have to be permanent. Later, I overheard him on his Zoom call with his counselor, and when our son was asked about how far into the future he felt he needed to plan, he answered, "age 30." !! He's not even 19 yet, so no wonder he felt a little paralyzed. Long story short, he decided to just work for awhile. He was instantly happier, having somewhere to go each day. He also found a job in an area he was already interested in (cars), and even though it's the lowest level job, it has helped his mindset immensely, and he's learning about possible career paths. There are also 6-month software training programs in the DMV - Catalyte in Baltimore is one - that will provide a 6-month training programs for people who test well enough - no college degree required. One of my kid's friends is doing that. This has been a tough process, as literally our entire family sees higher education as the only sane option, and they are horrified that the trend is being broken like this. But honestly, once we dropped the pressure on our kid to do something AMAZING and GREAT, he's been much more happy and motivated. Good luck![/quote] Best answer on this thread.[/quote]
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