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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I am the OP - Thank you so much for saying this. I feel like we are in similar places in a lot of ways. Taking the baby to the store just seems too risky - we can suit up the older kiddo in a mask and face shield but not the little guy. A baby sitter a couple times a week would be ideal, but I feel like finding someone part-time with the same level of covid-aversion that we have that is willing to not work with any other families just seems like an unreasonable ask. I feel like its all or nothing. We don't really want to go all-in with a nanny because even the little bit of school my older kid has been going to has been so good for him. He has missed daycare and other kids so much.

[b]He is the one most opposed to outsourcing[/b], and it is because of the COVID risk and not the money. [b]He has always hated having housekeepers[/b], and at best I could only convince him in pre-covid times to have them come every other month. But then he doesn't do "his" chores and has a high tolerance for mess, and I have a lower mess tolerance, so I have the brunt of the anxiety around a messy house. I'm just breaking down today. I've been working all my weekends and haven't had a day off in eons, and I'm can't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight.

I wanted to go back to work part-time after the second kid, but then my firm cut salaries and without reliable child care we don't feel like my husband can look for a job yet. It has just all been so much with no end in sight and I'm so worried that winter will just make virus spread worse and reduce our options even further. [/quote]

OP, I really feel for you and agree with many others that something has got to change. Weaning is the first and most obvious, but I think what you say here is pretty telling. Your DH doesn't think you "need" a house cleaner and dimes to dollars he's taking COVID as a convenient excuse. Sure, part of him may actually believe it's risky, but as others have mentioned that risk is minimal - and if he were really that concerned there's no way he'd be accepting your kid going to daycare every other week. Gee, what's the difference... oh, right. One would ease your workload, while the other eases HIS.

Get a house cleaner. Nothing says your DH gets sole veto power over this and you desperately need it. Just do it and he can suck it up, since he's not bothering to handle it otherwise on his own. Sometimes one person in the household has to make a unilateral decision for everyone's good. Just pretend you are your DH, ha. And while you are at it, bring in at least part-time help for the kids if you can, a nanny or even a mother's helper of some kind. Anything to ease the stress on you. You're suffering to no good end here and it doesn't have to be that way. Sending you lots of good wishes (and your DH too, seriously. I hope his injury gets better and he finds work soon).[/quote]

If her DH is really worried about getting COVID, he probably has reason to be especially with all doctors visits.

Overriding that will definitely be a crisis when they catch COVID (and a part time housekeeper eventually will leave the virus at your house). [/quote]

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