Reply to Oldest son has a lot of animosity towards middle son

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[quote=Anonymous]I've got 3 kids, all teenagers.  The oldest and youngest are boys with ADHD/anxiety.  We've had lots of therapies and interventions over the years and have worked with great professionals.  My older DS has a long history of being cruel and rude to my younger DS.  It has nothing to do with how we have parented them or how we treat the kids.  It has everything do do with my older DS' personality, ADHD and, especially, his anxiety.

Younger DS' challenges are far more significant than older DS' and older DS is embarrassed by him.  Because of his own insecurities, ADHD and desire to 'control' things, older DS lashes out at younger DS.  As I've said, we've worked with professionals to address and understand this and we've worked hard at collaborative problem solving.  Yet, cruelty and bullying is unacceptable, especially within a family.  It's gotten better as the kids have gotten older but we have definitely had to impose and enforce acceptable behaviors.  There have been times where they boys have positive interactions, particularly when they're playing video games but I doubt they'll be close as adults.  We can, at least, assure our home is supportive and civil. [/quote]

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