Reply to Have you / would you talk about your affair with your therapist?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ to be fair, as a cheater you are not qualified to know the depth of the pain you caused and the trust issues you have inflicted on others. I’m glad you are seeking to change.  However, I don’t trust anyone that cheats in their marriage—even as friends.  There is something fundamentally wrong with you.[/quote]

You’re so lovely. It’s impossible anyone would betray you repeatedly.[/quote]

I just want to say, as the fMW who answered the questions, this is not my response. This poster is correct in that even though I saw firsthand the pain my husband went through, I will never understand it completely. That OP completely has the right to not want to trust or be friends with me. As for the last sentence, I agree with the fact that there was something fundamentally wrong with me at the time I made my hurtful and selfish choices. I wouldn't extend that to my whole self necessarily, as I am in a completely different place in my life now due to what I have learned and how I have grown and changed. I personally don't subscribe to the "once a cheater always a cheater" if the cheater has taken full responsibility for their actions, made reparations, and started on a path of true, deep growth and change. Unfortunately, however, most cheaters don't want to actually face what they have done and either continue to self-justify their choices or sweep things under the rug. And when that happens, yes, cheaters can absolutely cheat again.

As for OP, I would gently suggest being completely honest with your therapist (and yourself). PPs are correct that there is no real point to therapy unless one is honest...it's like going to the doctor for a diagnosis but not sharing all your symptoms. How is a doctor supposed to adequately help you if they don't have all the information? Please consider being completely honest with your therapist and yourself during the time ahead. Good luck.[/quote]

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