Reply to Why do some women enable their husbands being terrible fathers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have literally never understood this. I would rather be alone than with a man who was not an equal partner in all regards. How can you have a child with someone who you cannot trust to leave alone with the child you created?[/quote]

I’m in this situation, and would rather be alone, but if I divorce my DH then he will have partial custody and complete responsibility for the children. No one intentionally chooses a mate who turns out to be awful.[/quote]

Here’s the thing.  If your husband is so terrible at parenting that he couldn’t manage any sort of custody, then he also isn’t fit to be a parent living with you as a married couple.  Sounds like your husband shouldn’t be with ANY children as he may be a danger to them.

If this is not the case, then it means you’re just a control freak and he won’t do things your way.  [/quote]

You clearly have no idea how hard it is to gain sole custody.  Keep in mind that a) while society won’t judge dads for being terrible parents, it does judge them for not having at least partial custody and b) if you don’t have fairly equal custody then you have to pay child support.

I am a nanny and have seen this kind of thing from a front row seat.  Dad doesn’t supervise young kids.  Skips anything “hard” such as giving them medicine necessary to prevent a chronic illness from spiraling out of control.  Feels car seats are nbd so does things like put 1yo in a backless booster because the buckles on their actual car seat are “too confusing.”  This dad let a 3yo wander off unsupervised in public AT A BEACH twice in one weekend because his wife was sick and the other family members thought dad would step up.

Prior to splitting, mom worked 60+ hours a week and dad worked part time.  Mom saw the kids for an hour every morning and 3 hours at night and all weekend.  Dad would see them maybe 10 hours a week total because he just didn’t give a F.

After split, dad realized he would have to pay child support if mom had custody so he fought for 50/50 custody and won.  This is why mom stay married until the kids were old enough to basically fend for themselves AND she made sure they had cell phones because dad constantly left them at his apartment, unsupervised, for hours at a time at age 9 (twins). [/quote]

Yeah see that’s the problem.  The backless booster and beach stories don’t concern me that much.  Maybe because I’m a child of the 80s?  [/quote]

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