Reply to Children of parents in sexless marriage - how did it affect your relationships and marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People always stress the negative results on kids from a unhappy marriage but don’t really talk about the results of a happy marriage.  My parents have been married 70 years—they certainly fight but they love each other a lot.  My dad calls my mom luvamylife, and he kissed her every single morning before leaving for work.
I think I was totally unprepared to recgonize any red flags—and I think my siblings sort of were in the same boat.  I am in a miserable marriage because for years I told myself that people who love each other put the work in and stick it out.  Maybe with miserable divorced parents I would have been more guarded, less trusting and naively optimistic?  If nothing else good comes of this, I think at least my daughter will be a little more wary than I was.  Some people may think that’s screwed up, but I think it’s an advantage.  [/quote]

My parents had a wonderful marriage - but they certainly modeled surviving good times and hard times (my mom had 20 years of MS before she died this year). My childhood did not prepare me to recognize my DH’s mental health issues - we both had years of denial. It reached the point where it was
Frightening and I couldn’t deny it anymore.  I don’t know what is going on with him but he is highly, highly dependent on me to alleviate his anxiety (general anxiety, self esteem problems and social anxiety). I used to think it impacted only me, but I think it has impacted my kids too (especially the one with anxiety). I hope in the end they will see my DH and I as sticking together through good times and bad. On the other hand, he is highly successful professionally and has a very healthy sex drive.

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Same here, great fathers and brothers; mental health issues were not on my radar and I made a lot of excuses and benefits of the doubt for a naive nice guy who was asd when he had more than one responsibility.[/quote]

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