Reply to Wife's odd reaction to my parents and "fun secrets"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote] Well, your first statement is true but your conclusion is completely off-base.

Kids are more likely to be abused by someone known to them. However, if a kid doesn't tell or they tell and the adult doesn't act, then that is more evidence of failure in other adults parts and NOT an indication that a kid can't judge whom to trust and whom to not trust. Kids are pretty savvy that way.

So secrets are bad and surprises are okay but parents shouldn't raise kids who cannot and will not trust anyone. That is very, very bad.[/quote]

I suspect I am not to poster you think you are arguing with. I just joined the conversation. I don’t believe you should teach children not to [b]trust[/b] important people in their lives. Extended family and close friends are an important part of building their sense of safety and community network. I [i]do[/i] believe we as parents should teach children that secrets are something that should be verified with parents, until they are mature enough to begin to judge that for themselves (not a 5-year old).

Please note that these are differences in our philosophies. I am not a “very, very bad” parent if I teach my child to rely on my judgement as I help them develop their own. I am just practicing differently than you.[/quote]

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